


In the Lonely Hour

by alwaysbemygirlfelicity



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 04:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2137488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysbemygirlfelicity/pseuds/alwaysbemygirlfelicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you deal with losing what you really want?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Lonely Hour

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a challenge to write some smut and went in a completely different direction. Inspired by "Stay With Me" and off on a tangent. It's a bit angsty and dark, focusing on Oliver's feelings. Don't hate me.
> 
> thanks to my amazing beta! love you!

**Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand**

 

Oliver Queen used to be good at that, good at letting in the pleasure and pushing out all the other noise.  He used to be good at nights, or days, that didn’t mean anything.  He used to not care if what he did hurt anyone else.  She'd ruined him; Felicity had ruined him.  There were nights where he was glad she had, where he was glad he’d learned what truly loving someone could do for you.  There were nights where he cursed the way that simply knowing her had changed him.

  
It had all gone to shit in an instant; the line had been redrawn, the walls put back up, the unspoken rules rewritten.  Funnily enough, this time it had been her doing.  No one would have expected it, least of all him.  He’d always been the one who kept her at arms' length, kept her away. He claimed it would keep her safe.  The truth was, deep down he knew it was really just keeping himself safe.  He knew that letting her in would ruin him, and it had.

  
She’d ruined him for anyone else and moved on.  

 

**But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man**

 

_“Felicity, he needs you,” Sara said, a seriousness in her voice. “I know that it scares you, it would scare anyone, but he’s not doing well without you.”_

  
_“And what am I supposed to do, Sara?  Just pretend it didn’t happen?  I can’t be that liability to this team...to him,” she said, the tone almost pleading.  “Every time Oliver has killed since he lost Tommy, it’s been for me, and every time it puts him in danger. It puts the **team** in danger, and I can’t be the reason for it anymore.”_

  
_Sara laughed sarcastically, shaking her head.  “You don’t get it. This isn’t about whether you two are friends or lovers.  He will always choose you.  You’re not protecting anyone but yourself by pushing him away, and maybe that’s exactly what you want to do while trying to convince us all otherwise, but no one is convinced,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest.  “You always hated the way Oliver used protecting you as a reason to push you away, and now you’re doing the very same thing. How is that supposed to play out?”_

  
_“I don’t know, Sara!”  Felicity's loud voice made itself known.  “All I know is I can’t do it.  I can’t do it right now, maybe not ever.  I can’t be with him. Don't you think I **want** to be with him?” Sara didn't miss the strong emphasis on "want."_

  
_Felicity went on with tears in her eyes. “I have never wanted anything more in my life, but I literally cannot do it,"  she said, tears springing forth. She turned her head to wipe them away._

 

**These nights never seem to go to plan**

 

But Sara was safe; warm, strong, kind, loving, understanding Sara.  Sara was back and she was safe.  There were no expectations, no rules, no lines, no walls with her.  He could lose himself in Sara.  If he couldn’t have Felicity, could she ease the hurt?  Could she ease the loneliness?

  
He didn’t feel guilty with Sara somehow.  It didn’t feel like he was betraying anything with her.  It just felt warm, like he wasn’t drowning anymore.  Life was a blur without Felicity, but at least with Sara he felt like there was someone who could guide him.  He couldn’t see his own way, but she could make the darkness a little easier to navigate.

 

**I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?**

 

Tonight he was alone.  Alone in his thoughts, in his emotions, in the sheer want and need that filled him when he thought about her, about her happy with someone else.  He closed his eyes and drifted.  He let comfort creep in and push the need out, push the want and the pain out that came with loving and losing.

  
“Ollie,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind.  He felt the warmth of her skin against his as she nipped lightly at the spot just below his ear.  “Let me take care of you,” she said, the pads of her fingers trailing down his arms.

  
“What about me, Oliver?” she asked, sitting in front of him, her hands reaching for his, wrapping her softness around his roughness.  “You don’t have to let me go,” she said quietly, lifting his hands, ghosting kisses along his fingertips.

 

**Oh, won't you stay with me, 'cause you're all I need. This ain't love it's clear to see, but darling stay with me.**

 

His breath hitched in his throat. It couldn’t be real but it felt so real. Four warm hands connected with his skin and there was no way it could be real.  

  
He felt the kisses trailing down his neck, across his shoulders, hands falling from his shoulders and skimming the skin of his back.  “We can help each other,” she breathed into his skin.

  
“Why won’t you fight for me, Oliver?” the other voice asked, her hands reaching forward, her fingers roaming the expanse of his chest.  “You love me, don’t you?  Why won’t you fight for us?” she asked again.

  
“‘Felicity,” he breathed, making a move, reaching out and pulling her closer, his hands cradling her face.

 

**Why am I so emotional?**

 

“It’s not real, Ollie,” she whispered in his ear.  “She’s not here.  She made her choice,” she murmured, her breath hot on his skin.

  
“I’m right here, Oliver,” she said, looking into his eyes.  “I’m right in front of you, please don’t push me away,” she said, leaning forward, feathering kisses across his cheeks.

  
“I’ve got you,” he said, wrapping his arms around her, closing the remaining distance between them.  “I love you so much, ‘Licity,” he confessed.  “I never let you go, I’m never letting you go,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to hers.  “I’ve been waiting for you.” He smiled softly, cupping her cheek and connecting their lips tenderly, testing the waters.

 

**No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control.**

 

She pulled back, reaching down and pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it to the side as she looked up, blue meeting blue.  She leaned back into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his lips down to hers, their mouths crashing together heatedly.  

  
“Oliver,” she gasped, her body shivering as his rough fingers traced the soft skin of her back, one hand paying extra attention to the scar left by the Clock King.  “Please don’t stop,” she begged, tilting her head as his lips trailed down her neck, sucking lightly at her collarbone.

  
“Never,” he confirmed, his face serious as he searched her over.  “I’ll never stop,” he said. He leaned in and sealed the promise with his lips.

 

**And deep down I know this never works**

 

“Ollie,” she said, running her hand down his arm, tangling her fingers in his.  “Ollie, wake up,” she said firmly but softly, kissing his cheek.

  
“'Licity?” he mumbled sleepily, letting out a long breath.

  
She smiled sadly, squeezing his hand, running her other through his hair.  “You’re okay, I’ve got you,” she assured him, wrapping herself around him the best she could.  

  
His eyes opened lazily, realization hitting him all at once.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his chin falling, his gaze wandering.

  
“I know,” she whispered quietly, placing a tiny kiss on his shoulder.  

  
“Don’t go,” he pleaded, looking up, his tear filled eyes worried.

  
 **But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt**


End file.
